Baby Portillo © Portillo Enterprises plc

Jimmy Belph - Baby Correspondent

Transatlantic relations hit a new high this morning as it was revealed that the internationally notorious "dancing baby" animation was based closely on archive film footage of the infant Michael Portillo. The "Portillo Reel" had been stolen from the British Library in 1990 where it was kept for use in special emergencies. Yesterday's INTERPOL press conference named the culprit as Californian animator Steve Peevitt, who had spent the early Nineties furtively hand-digitising the film and manipulating the baby's face for kicks. The connection was spotted by Portillo's mother Doris, who recognised the characteristic motion after its repeated exposure on the Ally McBeal show. "I thought: crikey, that's my Michael," Mrs Portillo told a heaving press pack. "He used to oscillate just like that - left, up and left. That's when I remembered the film he'd made." Michael Portillo was brought before a San Antonio county judge last night to demonstrate his unique gyrations. "As soon as the music started I was totally off on one," he told us after the prime-time dance testimony that broadcast to millions. "I could feel myself reverting to the mentality of a five-month-old. It's something I hope to do more often." Portillo has since been offered a three-figure sum to take the place of the animation in all future showings of Ally McBeal, but has declined, pleading exhaustion and acute mental discombobulation and such.